another blog

Do you ever get that feeling that all you need to do in your life to make something good happen is just to take a little action? I kind of feel like that now, but I am afraid to take action sometimes...and now I'm back...I know you didn't know I was gone but I left my computer open to this site for an hour or so. oy. so those are my jumbled thoughts.

:/

I hate complaining....I hate complaining about complaining, but dang it I just don't feel good as of late. I don't know what's the matter...I won't make this a long post because a whole page about negative things isn't cool...and positive triumphs negative...I just feel so "flat" lately, I don't know if it's work or because I haven't tried to quiet myself and just spend time with God, I read this thing this morning that said that you shouldn't feel guilty about not reading your Bible...you should feel hungry when you don't. I agree with that, but maybe I'm just not reading the right verses...do ya like my .'s? sorry random, anyways, I guess the best way to explain is that I don't feel like myself....I could go on and explain about the false self and the true self...ok I'll share my thoughts. The false self is part of you that whose desires are superficial (money, etc) and your true self is the part of you that listens to God, and knows how to see beneath the veil of society (that just came to me...I hope that's right) as your true self grows then you want less of your false self to the point where things that feed the true self you are disgusted by (just as an aside I don't think money is evil...just the worship of it!) I know all of this is vague, but I feel like I've just been feeding the false self and I can't unleash my true self (or be my true self) because I don't have someone to talk to about that kind of stuff...or somewhere to be my true self...ok I made this a bit longer than I wanted to but it wasn't all negative...in fact I feel a bit better, I wish I could write narrative like Michelle though...oh well

short post

maybe some things never change... :(

the eternal cage

I have a LOT of time to think every day (let's just say that my work doesn't require much brain power) but I guess my thought that I thought of was when I was driving home (or would that be as I drove home?) *shakes head* anyways, I was thinking about the cage that most of us are in (not a literal cage) what I mean is our jobs. I mean that I know a lot of people (at least where i work) hate their job (myself included sometimes) but I mean for all the complaining I hear does anyone try to leave? I'm not sure, and even some of the people I have seen who quit come right back to the job...isn't that strange? The very thing that some of these people hate, is what keeps them going (financially at least) but if they step out they get scared and they want to go back to the "security" found in the familiarity (aka the cage) I have known this before because after a change occurs in my life I usually find myself wanting to go back to the way things were...but the truth is that things ALWAYS change, we can't go through life wishing for our situations to stay the same, I won't go into full detail now but I think that I've found that the approach we should take to life is to not plan things out fully but be able to deal with things as they come up (improv) that way we stay sharp, or at least that's what I think. Phew, I can't write as much as Michelle, but I guess I don't have to...that's all I have now :)

*sigh*

I think it's starting to happen again, i'm pretty much back into the swing of things back at work, and with that comes...well I want to call it depression, but maybe it's just having to go back to normal, with the school year back in session, meaning that Jason is gone, my brother goes back to school, and my other local friend is back in school also....which leaves me alone...I dono, i guess I'm just not looking forward to this month...I wish there were an upswing...and I wish I had someone to talk with.