another blog

Do you ever get that feeling that all you need to do in your life to make something good happen is just to take a little action? I kind of feel like that now, but I am afraid to take action sometimes...and now I'm back...I know you didn't know I was gone but I left my computer open to this site for an hour or so. oy. so those are my jumbled thoughts.

:/

I hate complaining....I hate complaining about complaining, but dang it I just don't feel good as of late. I don't know what's the matter...I won't make this a long post because a whole page about negative things isn't cool...and positive triumphs negative...I just feel so "flat" lately, I don't know if it's work or because I haven't tried to quiet myself and just spend time with God, I read this thing this morning that said that you shouldn't feel guilty about not reading your Bible...you should feel hungry when you don't. I agree with that, but maybe I'm just not reading the right verses...do ya like my .'s? sorry random, anyways, I guess the best way to explain is that I don't feel like myself....I could go on and explain about the false self and the true self...ok I'll share my thoughts. The false self is part of you that whose desires are superficial (money, etc) and your true self is the part of you that listens to God, and knows how to see beneath the veil of society (that just came to me...I hope that's right) as your true self grows then you want less of your false self to the point where things that feed the true self you are disgusted by (just as an aside I don't think money is evil...just the worship of it!) I know all of this is vague, but I feel like I've just been feeding the false self and I can't unleash my true self (or be my true self) because I don't have someone to talk to about that kind of stuff...or somewhere to be my true self...ok I made this a bit longer than I wanted to but it wasn't all negative...in fact I feel a bit better, I wish I could write narrative like Michelle though...oh well

short post

maybe some things never change... :(

the eternal cage

I have a LOT of time to think every day (let's just say that my work doesn't require much brain power) but I guess my thought that I thought of was when I was driving home (or would that be as I drove home?) *shakes head* anyways, I was thinking about the cage that most of us are in (not a literal cage) what I mean is our jobs. I mean that I know a lot of people (at least where i work) hate their job (myself included sometimes) but I mean for all the complaining I hear does anyone try to leave? I'm not sure, and even some of the people I have seen who quit come right back to the job...isn't that strange? The very thing that some of these people hate, is what keeps them going (financially at least) but if they step out they get scared and they want to go back to the "security" found in the familiarity (aka the cage) I have known this before because after a change occurs in my life I usually find myself wanting to go back to the way things were...but the truth is that things ALWAYS change, we can't go through life wishing for our situations to stay the same, I won't go into full detail now but I think that I've found that the approach we should take to life is to not plan things out fully but be able to deal with things as they come up (improv) that way we stay sharp, or at least that's what I think. Phew, I can't write as much as Michelle, but I guess I don't have to...that's all I have now :)

*sigh*

I think it's starting to happen again, i'm pretty much back into the swing of things back at work, and with that comes...well I want to call it depression, but maybe it's just having to go back to normal, with the school year back in session, meaning that Jason is gone, my brother goes back to school, and my other local friend is back in school also....which leaves me alone...I dono, i guess I'm just not looking forward to this month...I wish there were an upswing...and I wish I had someone to talk with.

movies and christmas

It's so good to have a day where you don't really have to worry about stuff, by stuff I mean work. Have I ever told you that I don't like work now? Anyways, I just meant that Christmas is a great time where one can focus on what is worth focusing on, that is Family, Spiritual matters, and what is going on. I really feel renewed after having some good discussions with my Dad and my friend Jason, and also watching Return of the King and Voyage of the Dawn Treader (both very good movies but I'll let you guess which one was better!) but yeah, it's really good to see some good movies, I forget how much good Spiritual truth can be conveyed in film, seriously! I have more thoughts, but am going to close now because if I don't I'll ramble :P

after a long hiatus

well guys it's been a year (almost exactly) since I last posted, and I have got to say that for most of the time I actually forgot that I had a blog. The past can be an interesting thing, but it's not some place where I would what to live (or is that "when I would want to live"? call the grammar police!). Anyways the past is a good place ("when") to learn from, if you don't learn from your past (history) you are doomed to repeat it, am I wrong? I feel like a broken record sometimes. I guess a better way to put it is if you keep trying things the same way and not getting different results, why would you want to keep trying them the same way? For example if you can't reach "the lost" (how do you draw the line around who is "lost" and who isn't?) by preaching, why would you expect different results? (you in this post does not mean you the reader it is a vague straw man kind of you). You have to remember that everyone's "soil" is different, and that some people CANNOT hear the word of the Lord (almost literally). Think of children (it's almost a personal example for me since i work with them :)) you can tell them over and over and OVER again the same things and they won't get it. Why? It's because there is something in their spirit and emotions that prevents them from even wanting to listen. E.G. they probably feel like they are just being punished (and taken away from fun) and not being helped. What if there was more of a delving into what causes children (and "the lost" for that matter) not to be able to listen, what has happened in their past? Have they been burned by the church? Have they been molested and won't listen to an adult of the opposite gender? have they not heard what you're trying to tell them in a positive manner? Sometimes you have to be blunt like Gandalf, "I'm not trying to rob you, I'm trying to help you". If you're trying to tell someone about their freedom in Christ remember that their mind and heart must be free or else they cannot be free. well enjoy this post it may be another year until I post again :)