Eyes

I was at my local goodwill this afternoon purchasing a few video games (for a friend of a friend) and a movie (The Maltese Falcon for $3) and the clerk who checked me out said "You have very pretty eyes". This left me flabbergasted for one, I thought "Who is this girl?", and for two "What do I say to her next?". All I could think to say was, "Thanks". It kind of got me thinking about eyes, and what they can represent. I mean aside from the physical beauty you can kind of tell if someone is trustworthy or full of deceit by their eyes. They give you a clue to the inner workings of the person. You can tell if what comes out of their lips matches what is in their hearts. Think about in movies, often times evil characters have red eyes, not because the color itself is evil but it makes you feel like they are not someone you would want to have coffee with. They say that the eyes are the window to the soul, and I am going to concur with that statement. What do you think?

Rear Window

Who am I to write a review of a classic movie? An amateur that's who. I probably have seen far less movies than a true "movie guru" but I have seen my share, and boy have I seen some real stinkers as well as some gems. I have seen a few that have been compared to the master himself, Alfred Hitchcock. Among them, The Sixth Sense, Signs, and Flight Plan (which is easily the worst of these three, and actually quite funny if I remember correctly) but after seeing many of the imitators and movies influenced by him I thought it was time to sit down and watch one of the real things, and boy was I in for a treat. I don't think I have really seen a movie like "Rear Window" before, except maybe "Rope" which is of course another Hitchockian classic. It really only has one set piece, Jimmy Stewart's apartment, from which he (and we the audience) see the world outside his (Rear) window. You see Jimmy has a broken leg and has nothing better to do than to spy on his neighbors. Boy what a creeper. But the film is really all about relationships, Jim's relationship with his girlfriend (played by the beautiful Grace Kelly), his nurse, his friend, and the relationships or lack thereof that his neighbor's have. It's quite interesting. For the first 30-45 minutes of the film Hitchcock sets up the world that Stewart lives in, and his relationships. He shows the rhythm of his day. Slowly we find out about his reluctancy to marry and why. One day however Jim notices that one of his neighbors is missing, and her husband seems very suspicious. Stewart has no choice but to get help from the outside world to see if his suspicions are true. I won't spoil how it ends up, but the story plays out nicely and naturally. Even though the neighbors are only used at background and have little to no dialogue they all have their own story (besides the suspicious husband I mean) that each have their own arc over the movie, and it is nice to see how that pans out. I recommend this movie highly if you enjoy classic cinema, thrillers, or just have a marginal knowledge of Hitchcock and like what you have heard. Now about this blog post it is an experiment. I am just trying to write out how I feel and think about something, in this case a movie. If you have constructive criticism let me know please, but any negative comments will be deleted. I know I am not the authority on movies, I really just want to try and write something and also let all who are willing to read know about a great movie!

thanks :D

another blog

Do you ever get that feeling that all you need to do in your life to make something good happen is just to take a little action? I kind of feel like that now, but I am afraid to take action sometimes...and now I'm back...I know you didn't know I was gone but I left my computer open to this site for an hour or so. oy. so those are my jumbled thoughts.

:/

I hate complaining....I hate complaining about complaining, but dang it I just don't feel good as of late. I don't know what's the matter...I won't make this a long post because a whole page about negative things isn't cool...and positive triumphs negative...I just feel so "flat" lately, I don't know if it's work or because I haven't tried to quiet myself and just spend time with God, I read this thing this morning that said that you shouldn't feel guilty about not reading your Bible...you should feel hungry when you don't. I agree with that, but maybe I'm just not reading the right verses...do ya like my .'s? sorry random, anyways, I guess the best way to explain is that I don't feel like myself....I could go on and explain about the false self and the true self...ok I'll share my thoughts. The false self is part of you that whose desires are superficial (money, etc) and your true self is the part of you that listens to God, and knows how to see beneath the veil of society (that just came to me...I hope that's right) as your true self grows then you want less of your false self to the point where things that feed the true self you are disgusted by (just as an aside I don't think money is evil...just the worship of it!) I know all of this is vague, but I feel like I've just been feeding the false self and I can't unleash my true self (or be my true self) because I don't have someone to talk to about that kind of stuff...or somewhere to be my true self...ok I made this a bit longer than I wanted to but it wasn't all negative...in fact I feel a bit better, I wish I could write narrative like Michelle though...oh well

short post

maybe some things never change... :(

the eternal cage

I have a LOT of time to think every day (let's just say that my work doesn't require much brain power) but I guess my thought that I thought of was when I was driving home (or would that be as I drove home?) *shakes head* anyways, I was thinking about the cage that most of us are in (not a literal cage) what I mean is our jobs. I mean that I know a lot of people (at least where i work) hate their job (myself included sometimes) but I mean for all the complaining I hear does anyone try to leave? I'm not sure, and even some of the people I have seen who quit come right back to the job...isn't that strange? The very thing that some of these people hate, is what keeps them going (financially at least) but if they step out they get scared and they want to go back to the "security" found in the familiarity (aka the cage) I have known this before because after a change occurs in my life I usually find myself wanting to go back to the way things were...but the truth is that things ALWAYS change, we can't go through life wishing for our situations to stay the same, I won't go into full detail now but I think that I've found that the approach we should take to life is to not plan things out fully but be able to deal with things as they come up (improv) that way we stay sharp, or at least that's what I think. Phew, I can't write as much as Michelle, but I guess I don't have to...that's all I have now :)

*sigh*

I think it's starting to happen again, i'm pretty much back into the swing of things back at work, and with that comes...well I want to call it depression, but maybe it's just having to go back to normal, with the school year back in session, meaning that Jason is gone, my brother goes back to school, and my other local friend is back in school also....which leaves me alone...I dono, i guess I'm just not looking forward to this month...I wish there were an upswing...and I wish I had someone to talk with.

movies and christmas

It's so good to have a day where you don't really have to worry about stuff, by stuff I mean work. Have I ever told you that I don't like work now? Anyways, I just meant that Christmas is a great time where one can focus on what is worth focusing on, that is Family, Spiritual matters, and what is going on. I really feel renewed after having some good discussions with my Dad and my friend Jason, and also watching Return of the King and Voyage of the Dawn Treader (both very good movies but I'll let you guess which one was better!) but yeah, it's really good to see some good movies, I forget how much good Spiritual truth can be conveyed in film, seriously! I have more thoughts, but am going to close now because if I don't I'll ramble :P

after a long hiatus

well guys it's been a year (almost exactly) since I last posted, and I have got to say that for most of the time I actually forgot that I had a blog. The past can be an interesting thing, but it's not some place where I would what to live (or is that "when I would want to live"? call the grammar police!). Anyways the past is a good place ("when") to learn from, if you don't learn from your past (history) you are doomed to repeat it, am I wrong? I feel like a broken record sometimes. I guess a better way to put it is if you keep trying things the same way and not getting different results, why would you want to keep trying them the same way? For example if you can't reach "the lost" (how do you draw the line around who is "lost" and who isn't?) by preaching, why would you expect different results? (you in this post does not mean you the reader it is a vague straw man kind of you). You have to remember that everyone's "soil" is different, and that some people CANNOT hear the word of the Lord (almost literally). Think of children (it's almost a personal example for me since i work with them :)) you can tell them over and over and OVER again the same things and they won't get it. Why? It's because there is something in their spirit and emotions that prevents them from even wanting to listen. E.G. they probably feel like they are just being punished (and taken away from fun) and not being helped. What if there was more of a delving into what causes children (and "the lost" for that matter) not to be able to listen, what has happened in their past? Have they been burned by the church? Have they been molested and won't listen to an adult of the opposite gender? have they not heard what you're trying to tell them in a positive manner? Sometimes you have to be blunt like Gandalf, "I'm not trying to rob you, I'm trying to help you". If you're trying to tell someone about their freedom in Christ remember that their mind and heart must be free or else they cannot be free. well enjoy this post it may be another year until I post again :)

Weird?

So as any good college student would be doing, i am up on a Sunday morning doing my homework. Ok maybe that is not the truth. I have been doing my homework but have been inspired (don't read too much into that word ;) ) to write yet another exciting entry into the blog of mine that is seemingly becoming more of a journal.....I guess that is what a blog is for. I will try not to speak too much of myself....aka soapbox but I can't really speak of what I don't know or haven't experienced so yeah. I think that the condition of the church right now is both exciting and at the same time dangerous. Let me explain. While I am no expert at seeing the church "as a whole" because that is difficult (seeing as howing there are many many churches and I fear to tread where the Pope is worshipped...I mean recognized) But I do know what I have experienced from the churches here in Knoxville. I have been to almost every kind of church on the spectrum (more on the way the church is organized than the theological spectrum....but still variation in the latter). Let me first start with the most organized church I have been to. It is the Greek Orthodox Church (well technically is is a Greek Orthodox Church). It was highly organized (not just in the way that the church was led but how the service was led). I only went once, there was so much structure to the service that I wondered if there was even a time when they had tried to listen to the Holy Spirit. Everything that was done was either a prayer based on scripture (I believe they used their own version of the Book of Common Prayer) or on their long standing traditions (i.e. the parade of the icons). Let me say I really liked the liturgy, don't get me wrong. I enjoy that kind of thing. The Priest (I think that's what they're called in that tradition?) had a really good message, though it was short. However everything seemed to be pointed solely at the liturgy and not at God, liturgy for liturgy's sake. Now the second kind of church I have been to is actually probably about 5 churches...I call them all "Generic Christian Church", you know the "church of the first century" that is rooted in tradition from the 1800s? yes them. Now it should be known that I grew up in this traditon, just FYI. In some ways I have a real soft spot for these churches because I know that they were started with the intention to simplify things and to get back to the basics, that may have been what they started with but I think that they have stopped listening to what God has to say and have idolized a certain founder of their tradition...I know this sounds harsh but my school is also of this tradition, and i am less interested in what Alexander Campbell has to say and more interested in what the God of the Universe has to say. There is a more loose structure to the services of these churches (thank God), and there are things that are done in the name of fellowship (i.e. those dinners on sunday with the contractually obliged KFC chicken bucket, and wednesday nights), and I think it is interesting that these types of things are done for "community" but I wonder how many friendships are actually formed and how many lives are changed and how many are actually lived together....I'm not saying that they are not but these kind of things seemed forced to me....I feel like i'm running out of steam and would just be going more on a soap box than anything.....so I will finish later.

Yes

Culmination seems to be such a good word for the things that gone on with my life lately. It's like that now since I actively am praying and seeking God. It's like everything I've wanted and hoped for is coming true, only kind of. At the same time my desires and dreams are changing as I become more aware of who I am. There's so much that has been racing through my head...I can't even type it all out, but if you are reading this please pray for the following:
Girl
Community
China (???)
Overseas in general
Finishing school work

thanks

I don't even know what to call this...

All I can say is that God is moving, and I am super excited about it! If you read this and you have my phone number give me a call and I will tell you more about it. Hopefully I can put it into words.

Alex

sequel?

It's kind of funny when you come home after...well really almost a year (i've been home two or three other weekends but not for that long) and it's kind of surprising how much has changed and to see the changes in yourself, it's kind of like a continuation of a t.v. show that you haven't watched in a few seasons where everything changes...or maybe little things change. examples: (they may not even seem significant but still) we have a new secretary at church, it reminded me of the time on family matters where they obviously replaced the actress who played harriet but acted like nothing happened, also just the way I have interacted with people so far I mean i haven't done that much....but i dono people seem to treat me differntly? in a good way...that's all I can think of I ran out of thoughts...That's all there is, there isn't anymore.

Is the grass really greener?

I am a very fickle person, or at least I am if that word means what I think it means....but what I mean is right now I have a strong desire to leave the country (not related to anything about the most recent election) but I think it is really awesome to get outside of my comfort zone (my however many square mile comfort zone) and get an outside perspective on things going on locally and even a fresh perspective on the global church. It's tough because I don't really know a second language (I claim Spanish but no lo comprendo mucho). I say these things because I am wondering if there is such a place that is "perfect to live". I mean if I got out of the country to where I really want to be would I be happy? I mean could I be content for a lifetime in a country different than that which I grew up in? I really want to say yes. Not that i'm unpatriotic, but that I really want to say that I can be happy regardless of where I live, United States included. Every country has it's corruptions, and there is not one "perfect kingdom" except the Kingdom of God.

Coffee (a.k.a there's no such thing as october on mars)

coffee is an interesting thing. it can keep you up late at night, but it can also unlock a world of imagination you never knew was there. What is it with me and coffee? I tried to get off of the stuff, but it keeps calling me back, and keeps not letting me down (for the most part) I mean don't get me wrong too much of it and i'm back to a headache, but it tastes so good. I got to thinking last night (after I had had coffee and was happy) that these days of the week, and months aren't "real" and by that I mean they are man made. I don't know if I'm being clear, what I mean is once you leave our planet there's no such thing as "Wednesday" or "October", I dono i thought it was interesting.

First Post

I got to express some of my thoughts with a friend of mine today. It's about what I think about a lot. It's called the human condition. I described it as how we think, what we think about, and why we do the things we do. For example why do people believe the things they do? For one I can say that it was probably handed down to them by their parents, which is not necessarily a bad thing but when you come to realize you're only doing something and you don't even really believe in it then the situation becomes tough, but when the human race is presented with change. A lot of people seem to want change but deep down don't really want to do what it takes to change. And another thing to think about is that if one is constantly changing then he or she is seen as unstable and wishy washy. Think of change more as a growing process, like the human body growing up to adulthood or a seed growing into a tree. The thing looks like what it started as but it's not quite the same. You can apply this way to a person. You should always base what you do on what you have been taught but be willing to adjust and modify as necessary. This can be called the pursuit of the truth, which i believe is a hard one.

Peace